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Joke of the Day

"It must get awkward when someone by accident makes one of those ""I let him get away with murder"" jokes around O.J Simpson."

"[girl brings me back to her apartment] her: come to bed me: just one sec [velcro noises] [more velcro noises] [too many velcro noises]"

"What makes for a good first date? NOT MOVIES"

"Samsung users are like... ""Im glad Samsung is finally blowing up."""

"What did the cheeseburger name her daughter? Patty."

"Conversations get real after midnight. 11:59 pm - ""I love ramen noodles"" 12:01am - ""I feel like I can trust you. I killed a man once"""

"A reporter asked Lil Wayne how sure was he that he contracted HIV. He said 100% positive"

"Why does Hitler wear boxers in the winter time? He already lost one nut, he doesn't want to lose another!"

"What's black, blue and doesn't look too well? Stevie Wonder"

"Why is it so hard for an eighty year old woman to pee in the morning? Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?!"