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Joke of the Day

"A dad says to his son, ""Son, if you don't stop masturbating you're gonna go blind!"" The son replies, ""Hey Dad, I'm over here!"""

"What do you call an epileptic in a bush? Russell"

"I'm against picketing.... But I don't know how to show it. - Mitch Hedberg"

"If we ate cats for lunch we could consolidate something like 85% of all Facebook photos."

"If Jason Bateman was a Jedi... I would call him Master Bateman."

"Kinky involves a feather. Perverted involves the whole bird."

"What did the Jewish pirate say when he heard his wife died? Argh, shiva me timbers"

"People who say age is just a number fundamentally don't get numbers and that's why I always borrow money from them."

"What is the hardest part to eat in a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"[spider's junk email folder] -TURN YOUR WEBS INTO $$$$ -HOT SPIDERS ON YOUR CEILING WANT TO MEET YOU -TRY THE ULTIMATE 8 LEG DIET TODAY"