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Joke of the Day

"What do Hutterites do on Halloween? Pump-kin"

"Thank you, slow walking family in front of me on the footpath, No please, take your time.... and definitely spread out, so you create a barricade of idiots."

"Why did Hitler commit suicide? He saw the gas bill... ^please ^don't ^kill ^me"

"I found a lamp in a back alley When I rubbed it the genie said 'You may have a long memory, or a long penis' I forget my response"

"I had a joke about the Baltimore Riots But someones already stolen it :("

"Ladies tell me I have the body of a god Buddha"

"no, no-- i'm pro-life only until the baby is born. after that the baby must exist in a hellworld of preventable disease and gun violence"

"someone asked me if i liked having long hair... i told them i didn't at first but it kinda grew on me."

"If a white person eats a dessert and no one is around to Instagram it, did it even happen?"

"Did you hear Buzz Lightyear was arrested? He was charged with battery."