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Joke of the Day

"A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" The screwdriver responds, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"You can fit fifty Mexicans in a van But I can fit six million Jews in my ashtray."

"A friend told me that I don't understand irony... ... which is ironic, because I was was waiting for a bus at the time. -- Alanis Morissette (not really)"

"Ken walks into a bar... ..bie doll."

"I like my women like I like my coffee Ground up and in the freezer."

"A dead person, a 2 year old, and a thot are all asked to count to ten. Which one can do it? It's the thot that counts."

"A man goes to a library and asks for a book on suicide......... Librarian stares at him for a while, then asks: Who's gonna bring it back ?"

"Superman: Where's Batman? Wonder Woman: *shrugs* Firestorm: I dunno Green Lantern: ... Superman: Oh shit, we forgot Batman can't fly again!!"

"Have you heard the joke you are never supposed to tell a gay person? Oh. Sorry."

"Mum: How come your friend ______ hasn't been around lately? Me: Because he turned into a cunt."