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Joke of the Day
"You're McDonalds; I'm Burger King I'm doing it my way, and you're lovin' it."
Next Joke
"I've spent half my money on gambling, alcohol, and wild women. The other half I wasted."
"Two thieves were caught with a load of stolen batteries and fireworks... ...one of them was charged, and the other was let off."
"[overhears guy saying economy is bad] [later, at family dinner] no trust me, the last thing you want is an economy. those things are so bad"
"You give me butterflies. I give them back. Please stop handing me insects, it's really weird."
"What is the difference between a joke and three dicks? Your mom can't take a joke."
"Why couldn't the tree solve the Lumberjack's riddle? He was stumped."
"I hate it when people say I'm sexist. How can I be sexist when I'm half female on my mother's side?"
"Someone said to me today that my clothes are gay. I said yeah, they came out of the closet this morning."
"Have you heard the ""good news"" about Jesus? It's his daughter's quinceanera today so he can't do our lawn"