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Joke of the Day

"Why does Peter Pan always fly? I'm sure no one will get this! It can't be a re-post. I checked."

"Why are there gay aliens on mars? Because curiosity got the best of them."

"*points at houseplant* no, YOU have a drinking problem!!"

"Robin Williams: *Goes for hi-five* C'mon man, don't leave me hanging."

"Did you hear about the campers with explosive diarrhea? That shi* was intense."

"Jesus wouldn't have been good at Twitter He would've only had twelve followers."

"There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't. Not mine, I just read it on a mug at work."

"Redditor and the Hooker . . . you won't *BELIEVE* what she told him! Keep the LPTs and give me my sixty dollars."

"Scientist: We've successfully taught a dog Morse code! Dog: [taps paw] Me: What did it say?? Scientist: ""Woof."""

"Why do intersecting lines hate each other? Because they do nothing except making themselves cross."