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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bartender giving two dolphins a drink? Serving dual porpoises!"

"Imagine how much money you could save on vitamins by dying."

"This evening I watched a Series of Unfortunate Events Then I turned off the news and watched Netflix."

"Who invented mince? A leper playing guitar."

"A tale of two tomatoes. Once there were two tomatoes crossing a street when a car hit one of them. The one not hit turns around and says nothing due to the shock he had seeing his friend die."

"I'm so petty People call me Tom"

"""Why did u jump off that bridge?"" My friend did it too ""Well if your friend jumped off a bridge would u?"" Yes. I literally just said that"

"How do you tell the difference between a triathlete and biathlete? A triathlete doesn't go both ways."

"Have you heard about the invention of the shovel? It was groundbreaking"

"An assistant to a company's offices in Karnataka found the title on his business card embarrassingly abbreviated. ""Mysore Ass."""