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Joke of the Day

"What does a man keep in his pants that often pokes the hole it's poked before? His keys, you filthy-minded bastard."

"What is a black cat's favourite TV show ? Miami Mice !"

"What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scalar."

"How can you tell if a fat chick is pregnant? You can't."

"Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because D-shells are too big and B- shells are too small. *A random elderly woman just stopped in the street in front off where I was sitting and told me this. Awesome*"

"What's better than a dozen roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ."

"It would have been more realistic if that Michael Jackson hologram last night touched a few little little boys in the front row."

"If Trump wins the election.... I hope he leaves us for a younger, more attractive Eastern European Country after a year or two."

"Sorry I took the little stringy things off my banana and put them on your baby's head to make it look like he had hair."

"Vodka & Vicodin are the answer. I have no idea what the hell the question was."