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Joke of the Day

"Has anyone ever told you what it's like to be royally screwed? Let me fill you in."

"God: I made something new. It's like a tornado, but smaller. Angel: What do you call it? God: A toddler."

"Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick? A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining."

"What was Tigger doing in the toilet? Looking for Pooh"

"It's uncool to be religious. It's uncool to be atheist. If someone asks what you believe in just say Beyonce. It's the only way to be safe."

"Well I was going to donate blood today until.... the lady got all personal and started asking, ""Who's blood is this?"" and ""How did you get it?"""

"My mother's star sign was cancer. Ironic how she died, really. She died due to fatal injuries from a giant crab attack."

"Two flies are arguing on a toilet seat when... One gets pissed off! (sorry!)"

"Grandpa joke: What becomes shorter when you add 2 letters? Short"

"The creator of the 'knock knock' joke was awarded a prize today Unfortunately he wasn't in to receive it"