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Joke of the Day

"It's uncool to be religious. It's uncool to be atheist. If someone asks what you believe in just say Beyonce. It's the only way to be safe."

"Why would 12:00 make the best cop? ""Hands up"""

"McDonalds can't extend their breakfast hours because at 10:01am, the eggs become self aware."

"Yesterday I clicked on 10 Things You Didn't Know About Denny's and number one was ""It used to be called Danny's."" get OUT of here"

"I was going to tell a joke in chemistry class today but I couldn't think of one. All the good chemistry jokes argon."

"[First date] Her: I'm really glad you asked me out yesterday in the park Me: *looking under table* you didn't bring your dog?"

"Telling someone they can't be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they can't be happy because others have it better."

"I love when you're choking someone and they are all ""I can't breathe"", duh I'm choking you."

"My TWILIGHT ZONE plot idea: The sole survivor of the apocalypse finally has time to listen to podcasts but still doesn't feel like it."

"Zebra joke! I heard that zebras are neutral about racism."