157557

Joke of the Day

"My husband asked if I've heard of Justin Bieber. Then he hooked up the horse and plowed the back 40 because he's Amish, apparently."

"Getting old sucks. I walked into the bathroom and forgot what I went in there for. And then I shit my pants."

"I just voted for Pluto to be a planet again."

"What's black and white and has a dirty name? Sister Mary Fuckface"

"Rapunzel is my favorite fairy tale about a woman who finds happiness when a man pulls her hair."

"Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"I was at a wedding the other day It was so moving, even the cake was in tiers"

"I went to the movies yesterday, and I met the most insensitive homophobe there I mean, just the mere sight of me masturbating sent him off on a rant about ""morals"" and ""his children"" and ""security""."

"What do you call a court case in which an immigrant is suing over sexual harassment? *Alien v. Predator*"

"This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore."