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Joke of the Day

"whats the diffrence between a tornado and a divorce in the south? nothing. sombodys losing a trailer!"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I don't pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face (There's a slight pause between garbanzo and bean when speaking the joke)"

"CIA: So what did you call that new tracking software we put on everyone's iPhone? NSA: ""U2's New Album"""

"Did you know you can use voice-to-text on Twitter so this tweet came from my mouth and also stop staring at me people on this bus."

"The best part about being single is only having to say ""I'm sorry"" to the dog."

"When you send food back to the kitchen, you're basically saying, ""Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."""

"Never trust a married guys opinion of who's hot. It's like asking a starving guy what food tastes good."

"What do you call a parent named Lee? Apparently"

"I assume when I get put on hold after I call customer service it's because 2 guys are flipping a coin to see who pretends to be the manager."

"A guy walks into a bar... and his alcoholism tears his family apart."