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Joke of the Day

"America is basically a free country... you'd just have to inherit 19 trillion dollars in debt"

"Parole officer: Come in and take a seat [me, finishing a jail term for stealing chairs] *starts sweating*"

"I was pulled over by a female officer today When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer? She said ""ugh nothing!"""

"What do 50 cent hot dogs have in common with lumber? Two buy four."

"What were Jesus's last words to his disciples as he was nailed to the cross? Nobody touch my fucking Easter eggs, I'll be back on Sunday."

"Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip. To get to the same side."

"Get rich quick scheme #12 Sell windows/glass in Baltimore"

"instagram me like one of your drunk girls"

"Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes? In a pellet court!"

"You're in a room with a murderer and someone who makes sandwiches with the crust end of the bread and you have 1 bullet. Who do- ""Bread guy"""