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Joke of the Day

"You're in a room with a murderer and someone who makes sandwiches with the crust end of the bread and you have 1 bullet. Who do- ""Bread guy"""

"Why did Pavlov have extra soft hair? Classical conditioning"

"Why does Daenerys Targaryen listen to Hoagy Carmichael? Because she's got Jorah on Her Mind."

"Tarzan walk into his wife making dolma.. He then shouts: How many times I told you not to touch my underwear?!?!"

"I just had 'the talk' with my kid. You know, the one where you break the news that Batman isn't real."

"The poster for a Homeless shelter's charity orchestra night reads... Come on down to the shelter and blow some Oboes!"

"Baby, if you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."

"What do pirates like to wear during the winter? Scarves"

"A poem for Valentine's Day Love is the fart of every heart, for when held in it pains the host, but when released pains others most."

"Just went down to get my driver's license renewed but this time I made sure I was drunk for the picture. Now if I ever get pulled over for drunk driving, they'll just think I'm spastic."