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Joke of the Day

"My son is an ungrateful little shit! I bought him a trampoline for Christmas, but he'd rather sit in his wheelchair and cry."

"Sometimes I feel like Stephen Hawking in the morning Because I can't get out of bed."

"Cheap prostitutes are like coffee If you put your dick in them it's gonna burn"

"Just been to the shop and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas. I can't believe the currant exchange rate"

"So I asked my Doctor, ""Doctor, what are we going to do about this dangerous virus from Africa?"" He said, ""I don't know, he has two more years in office."""

"Surgeon: I'm unable to perform this surgery. I've only got 10,000 spoons, when all I need is a knife."

"What does Vin Diesel call ""pin the tail on the donkey""? Fasten the furry ass."

"I once had a girlfriend who had a lazy eye... I had to dump her because she was seeing other people."

"What do you call it when an ex pees on you? EX-STREAM!"

"A Jedi Knight was singing Livin' On A Prayer. It was Obi Wan Bon Jovi"