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Joke of the Day
"New Years Resolutions: 1. Lose weight 2. Volunteer work 3. Lie about 1 and 2"
Next Joke
"The guy I've been paying to pick up poop in my backyard just realized that I don't own any animals."
"I'm never more irritated by fashion than when I'm trying to stuff something in a fake pocket!"
"How many times do I have to flush before you go away? "
"Q: IS IT SEXUAL HARASMENT IF YOU GO TO A WOMAN AND TELL HER HER HAIR SMELLS NICE? A: WHAT IF THE MAN IS A DWARF?"
"A recent study states that people should only shower every 3-4 days. ""Stop being an idiot,"" said one wife who lives in my house."
"Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? because it didnt want to swim in the hot chocolate"
"My door bell rang this morning. I didn't even know it had a phone."
"Sometimes, when I'm in the bathroom.. ...My dog tries to lick my balls... so I close the door...because that way nobody can see us."
"The shape... Did you know? The shape of your mouth as you say the word ""poop"" is the same that your butthole makes when you poop! Same goes for diarrhea."