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Joke of the Day
"Fish are just mobile sushi storage units."
Next Joke
"The worst thing about censorship is ??????????????"
"I got punched in the face last week - I now spend most of my time stroking gappy teeth with my tongue. I should probably stop making out with pensioners."
"I came here to write jokes and waste your time But I'm out of jokes, so I'll just waste your time"
"*goes to the gym* *takes a selfie & posts it on Facebook for the wife to see* *hurries to the bar*"
"Why do girls never propose Because as soon as she gets on her knees, she starts unzipping him"
"I went for a job interview in a Art Gallery today, but the interviewers seemed to hate everything about me. I didn't really paint a good picture of myself."
"[1st date] HER: So do you have any hobbies? SALT SHAKER: Nice dress! It would look great on my floor HER: What?! HIM: Just ventriloquism"
"Look... don't end your presentation with ""Are there any questions?"" & then get all pissy when I ask if you can ride a unicycle."
"[spelling bee finals] JUDGE: your word is ""asterisk"" KID: can you use it in a sentence? JUDGE: *adjusts mic* yes"