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Joke of the Day

"I'm Winston Wolf, I fix problems. So I hear you're having a bad hair day."

"If fake tans make you look more attractive then logically so will rolling your naked body in Cheetos dust."

"Why is the all-lisp percussion section so quiet? Because thimbles aren't very loud."

"Dr: I was going to ask if you were sexually active but- Me [wearing hot dog costume]: but what"

"Do you know why Jesus doesn't eat M&M's? Because they fall through the holes in his hands."

"I love when people spend 7 minutes trying to back into a parking space just so they can leave ""quicker"""

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... One turns to the other and says ""I can't believe I blew 100 bucks back there""."

"Damn, girl are you a sketch on Saturday Night Live? Cause you're getting old, fast!"

"You'd think being in a pickle would be a good thing."

"100% legal to pay a kid to punch another kid in the face."