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Joke of the Day
"Two law students walked into a bar... Two lawyers walked out"
Next Joke
"Having kids is like being at a press conference: ""No, you can't put the dog in the washer - next question."" ""No, you can't really fly -next"""
"[NSFW] What does a condom and a wife have in common? They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick."
"Interviewer: What's your greatest strength? Me: I'm hyper observant Interviewer: You have mustard in your beard Me: Oh.."
"10 years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me! She said no both times. ( )"
"I bet Anne Franke had the worlds most boring Foursquare account."
"Humans are like grapes... Grapes are green or purple, and a human has colors too. A grape is picked, and eaten by a human. Then we die of old age. I'm not good with metaphors."
"Never have phone sex You'll catch hearing-aids"
"So if my girlfriend can have multiple orgasms, why can't I have multiple girlfriends?"
"Wife: I'll just have a salad. Waiter: and for you, sir? Me: I'll be giving her half of my food."