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Joke of the Day

"When I ride alone with a random guy in an elevator I'll wait a sec then ask ""two man killing spree?"""

"What do batman and 16 atoms of sodium have in common? Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na"

"A Hippo claimed that he didn't like serial killers Than he ate a bowl of cereal. He was such a hippo-crit."

"What do you call a masturbating bull? Beef strokinoff!"

"My narcissistic friend just became an organ donor... because ""who wouldn't want a piece of this body?"""

"Picturing all of your organs, just laying there pulsating under your skin, is a pretty terrible way to try to fall asleep."

"Chuck Norris opened the Ark of the Covenant and kept his eyes open. The Ark melted."

"Me: I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. Him: Ma'am, for the last time, we don't have a limit on how much liquor you can buy."

"Boob Size Grades A ---> Almost Boobs B ---> Barely there C ---> Can't Complain! D ---> Damn! DD ---> Double damn! E ---> Enormous! F ---> Fake G ---> Get a reduction!"

"It's not true that a married man will live longer than a single man It just seems longer"