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Joke of the Day

"When I ride alone with a random guy in an elevator I'll wait a sec then ask ""two man killing spree?"""

"She said she'd keep an eye out for me I don't know why. I don't even like skullfucking."

"""Those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it"" [cut to: me wearing a toga and confusedly trying to conquer Gaul]"

"""Rate your high fives on a scale of 1-10"" ""Oh, I would say they are a high five"""

"Only one person cried when Chuck Norris was born and that was the doctor.... no one slaps Chuck Norris"

"BUSH AND BILL Jokes Q: Why was there so much confusion with the Secret Service after George W. Bush took over the White House? A: Because President Bill Clinton's code name was also ""Mr. Bush."""

"If you've ever used Urban Dictionary to compose or decipher a text, congratulations, you're over 40."

"What's the difference between a hockey player and a feminist hippie chick? A hockey player will take a shower after three periods."

"What's the reason my shower isn't working? You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure."

"Even though the nurse who performed my circumcision did a bad job... I still left her a tip."