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Joke of the Day
"Job Posting: local pond looking to hire tadpole, must have previous experience as frog"
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"What do you call snacks served at a brothel? whore d'oeuvres"
"Build a man a fire... Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm the rest of his life."
"If A-B-C-D didn't drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn't have to be so rushed."
"Why should Steve Irwin have put on sunscreen? To protect himself from the harmful rays."
"[Describing guy who just mugged me to sketch artist] ""He was literally kermit the frog"""
"What's George Washington's least favorite flower? Li[e]-lacs!"
"says if you don't like what you see in the mirror, run the hot water until it fogs up. Problem solved."
"""I"" before ""E"", except after ""C"". That's an efficient rule. Very efficient. Yep...efficient."
"When I drink alcohol, everyone says I'm an alcoholic... But when I drink Fanta, no one says I'm Fantastic."