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Joke of the Day

"My grandpa said ur generation relies too much on technology! I said, "" no your generation relies too much on technology!"" Then... I unplugged his life support"

"What does the narcissistic cow say? Moooo! Cuz it's a cow"

"Why do baseball pitches make bad doctors? Because when asked to 'give it to them straight', they throw a curveball!"

"A girl goes into the doctors and says, 'Doctor i have a pencil stuck in my pussy i might get lead poisoning, doctor looked and said ' dont worry it has a rubber on it."

"TV that gets louder to compensate for when you are chewing."

"Ellen Pao's credibility after VictoriaGate Oh wait, she never had any."

"Did you hear about the haunted burlesque theater? Things went bump and grind in the night."

"If Sean Connery was in the bathroom and told someone what he was doing, it would sound like he was repeating himself. ""I'm shitting in here, pooping."""

"TIL if Steve Irwin had worn sunscreen that fateful day, he would have survived. Apparently it protects against harmful rays."

"Video games and dicks What's the difference between video games and dicks? Video games take longer to beat."