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Joke of the Day

"Lush is kinda like cocaine. Its all lined up on the tables and you spend your entire time using your nose."

"Interviewer: What would you say is your greatest strength? Me: Definitely my insecurities. Very strong."

"My cousin was one of the most ambitious people I ever knew. Unfortunately, he struggled with depression. His life motto? ""Gosh darn it, I'm going to kill myself, or die trying!"""

"Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair and not the feet? Because if they drug them by the feet the would have filled with dirt."

"Why hasn't Joe entered the race yet? He's just Biden his time."

"What does the Italian cat say? Cheow!"

"Stephen Tyler looks like he's made from leftover pieces of Mickey Rourke."

"Have you heard of the new constipation movie? it hasn't come out yet."

"what if princess leia went to the dark side? then she would be luke's sithter"

"Rain is just God listening to Bon Iver."