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Joke of the Day

"Feminists are like Mr. Bean They do stupid stuff and everybody laughs at them!"

"You think your spouse loves you?Put them & a dog in the trunk of the car for a day. When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?"

"What is time consuming? Eating a watch. . . . . Note: This is not my joke, credit goes to /u/Cokenut, and /u/Fluffy8x for setting him up."

"Q: Why did the pacifist /b/tard try to calm everyone down? **A:** He did it for the *lullz*"

"Two Arabs are on a plane. One orders a bottle of Champagne and asks the other ""do you want some?"". The other replies ""No thanks, I'll have to drive soon""."

"I like my slaves like i like my cream whipped"

"If the State of the Union is really ""the best it's ever been"" Why do we ""need"" dozens of new government programs to fix it!"

"[Girl from Willy Wonka turns into a blueberry] Wonka: Call in The Blue Man Group! [Blue Man Group rolls her out while singing Eiffle 65]"

"[At work] ""guys check this out"" [Tries to do the fake walking downstairs thing but gets it wrong & walks up into the air] ""Holy shit help"""

"Why are men smarter than women? Because two heads are better than one."