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Joke of the Day

"You wanna take this outside bro? You sure bro? It's awfully chilly bro. Hold on bro, let me grab my scarf."

"No wonder 1% is so bad I got my raise, not even 1%, my bank don't even give close to 1%. But my taxes ---- **30%**."

"What's the difference between a teenager and a radioactive element? Radioactive elements last longer."

"What animal is endangered by tooth decay? Molar bears!"

"If ""the big one"" hits L.A., they say the sewer system will be out of commission for six months. So how will they tell?"

"I went to see a theatrical performance on the history of language Turns out it was just a play on words."

"Repeat after me.... I Pam sofa king read card Ted. Complements of my 6th grader."

"I pulled a hamstring and a pig fell from the ceiling and gave me a hug"

"Fred Durst is starting a lawn care company. It's called Rake Stuff."

"How to describe Mitt Romney in two sentences. I stand by what I said, whatever it is that I said. I deny saying that, whatever it is that I said."