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Joke of the Day

"The milk is so good its Legendary"

"I just had the thought ""pfft. Your father can't die before you are born,"" and I believed it for a full minute. Because I'm smert."

"How do you spell hypocrisy? R-E-L-I-G-I-O-N"

"I'm a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity."

"Rule number one of crossfit always talk about crossfit!"

"I'm writing a movie about a woman who kills her husband by giving him poisoned Viagra. Calling it ""Die Hard""."

"Lazy person fact #4523974903 You were too lazy to read that number."

"We're adults. It's bad enough we selfie. Don't make it worse with the surprise face selfie"

"What idiot named it balding & not vanishing into thin hair"

"My Acquaintance said he'd make a better electrician than me. I told that cunt I wouldn't be too phased."