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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes when my gf is asleep, I like to sneak into the living room, put on her dress, and pretend I wear the pants in this relationship."

"Bodybuilder 1 says to bodybuilder 2 ""hey man, I think we're out of protein powder"" Bodybuilder 2 responds ""No whey!!"""

"2016 That's the joke."

"I was in the gym. ""1,2,3,4,"" counted my personal trainer, as I panted. ""Come on,"" he added, ""Now we've got you down the stairs, we can do a workout!"""

"What is the date in Germany/Brasil today? 7-1. (world cup)"

"Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin looks at the other one and say, ""Oh my god we're gonna die in here!"" The other muffin looks back and says, ""Holy Moly! A talking muffin!"""

"Today I saw a homeless man pick up a brochure for a computer repairer. I guess he's having computer problems?"

"honestly it just makes me fat free italian when u tell me salad dressings aren't a good way to describe emotions"

"You are so ugly... ...the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand ripped through the toilet paper."

"No thanks, heavy metal concert. If I want lots of screaming without understanding the words I'll just hang out with my toddler."