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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't Donald Trump want to play Marco Polo? He was at Rubio's house and was worried he'd get Cruzed."

"If you're happy and you know it, share your meds"

"What do you call a laptop that ejaculates metal? Computer"

"What do you call a bee that lives in the US? USB ^^ I'll show myself out..."

"It's so weird and coincidental that everyone who likes me is cool and smart and everyone who doesn't is an egomaniacal asshole."

"[australia's first national meeting] Do we want to make our own language? That's too hard, let's keep this one but say everything weird"

"What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? A pizza can feed a family"

"A man walks into a zoo... But there is only a dog. It's a shih tzu."

"Charlie Sheen Says He Has HIV... Finally a positive in his life."

"*grammar police reads ransom note* ""Bring the money hear in too days, or she dead"" *grammar cop dies* ""Damn, he had 2 days until retirement"""