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Joke of the Day

"[plays dead to stop a bear from chasing me but then it plays dead next to me and we end stargazing together, forming a spiritual connection]"

"Han Solo had a much cooler older brother called Drum"

"What do you call deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea."

"What kind of birds do girls like? My-cawk!"

"How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them"

"Two men walk into a bar... You'd think the second one would've noticed"

"Monday is one of my favourite days of the week--my 7th favourite."

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the chin."

"Apoplexy... it's all the rage."

"Something went wrong .. ha ha A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted."" Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""