155943

Joke of the Day

"Your son has been suspended ""for what?"" He hit a kid who was picking on another child ""so what, yall ran out of ice cream to give him?"""

"How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar? They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years."

"Cop: Whatever you say will be held against you. Me: TEDDYBEARS Cop: Aww."

"What do they call a rant in Australia? A Fuck-filled Platitude"

"What do you call an oyster who can't find another job? A clamboni driver!"

"""Better to be pissed off than pissed on!"" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I'm not angry or covered in piss."

"Human Cannonball Following the tragic death of the human cannonball at the local fair, a spokesman said, ""We'll struggle to get another man of his calibre""."

"The first modern porno was invented in 1648 by Jacoby Porno who thought people should have something to look at while they jacked off[1][2]"

"The early bird gets the worm... but the second mouse gets the cheese!"

"Why did the rope not get any presents? Because he was knotty."