155840

Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] What do people in Arkansas say after having sex? Get off me pa you're crushing my smokes"

"I'm sorry I'm late. I saw a drawing of the sun wearing sunglasses and spent 4 hours wondering what the fuck he was protecting his eyes from."

"if you're feeling stressed out, just relax, take a deep breath, and exhale fire over all of your enemies. this is more for dragons btw"

"Forgot to tie my bikini top back before I stood up from sunbathing on the beach. Now I know how to get help carrying my chairs to the car."

"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? Only a hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."

"I'm starting to think the other moms might not like my nicknames for their kids."

"ME: I've expressed this political opinion so clearly, there's no way anyone could misinterpret it. THE INTERNET: lmao challenge accepted"

"Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance."

"If a hobbit were to bake a hairstyle, what would he make it out of? Frodo"

"Why did God put men on the Earth? Becuase a vibrator can't mow the lawn."