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Joke of the Day

"Spending half of the movie wondering where the fuck did I see this actor before..."

"Yes I get laid because I'm an illusionist. But I don't use ""magic"" or ""tricks"" on women. They respect my skills & choose to make love with m"

"Help with telegraph/Morse code joke I am doing a presentation on the Telegraph and my teacher is a sucker for a good joke/pun. Any help?"

"Why did the man with no hands go to the doctor? Because he didn't feel well."

"Why did the cannibal refuse to eat the police officer? It was a jewish cannibal."

"Jews would love to believe in Santa.. ..but they're not fans of anybody that keeps a list with peoples names on it."

"Local News. A couple turned themselves into police. Wonder what they were before."

"""Mommy, could you please make me a sandwich?"" ""Don't call me ""mommy"" just because I slept with your father!"" ""So what am I supposed to call you?"" ""Just call me Steve, like everybody else."""

"Interviewer: Are you good at programming? Me: Yes, I'm very good at writing nondeterministic C++ programs. Interviewer gives me the job. #nerdjokes"

"What is a rapper's favorite tea? Black boo-tea"