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Joke of the Day

"Why do you need sauce with sausages? Well if you didn't have the sauce then sausages would just be ""a jizz"""

"I was stranded in the swamp for days with no food I had no choice but to hunt down large white birds and eat them. Through the whole ordeal, I found myself filled with egret."

"How heavy is a Chinese dumpling? Wonton."

"DR: So, you're 36 years old, 4 foot tall & sound like a woman. How can I help you today, Mr Simpson? BART: I don't know where my hair starts"

"What is small, bald and wrinkled? Danny DeVito"

"Chuck Norris counted to infinity Twice!"

"I'm starting to think people are having babies solely for the Facebook likes."

"PMS jokes aren't funny... Period."

"[God Creating Raccoons] God: make a panda but a trash panda, then give it a mask so that people would know it will kill them for their food"

"How many Vietnam vets does it take the screw in a light bulb? THAT'S RIGHT!!! YOU DON'T KNOW; BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!"