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Joke of the Day

"How many Trump protestors does it take to change a lightbulb? Doesn't matter. Trump protestors won't change anything."

"I was going to do a Liam Neeson joke, but I feel like the best ones have already been taken."

"God said to John, ""Come forth and recieve eternal life."" But John came fifth, and received a toaster instead."

"My friend decided to get a tattoo of Pi on his face. It was an irrational decision."

"What's the difference between BMWs and porcupines? Porcupines have pricks on the outside."

"What do ghosts drink for Halloween? BOOOOZE!"

"What do you call a grammar Nazi in 2016? An alt-writer."

"'Mum' yelled Johnny from the kitchen 'you know that dish you were always worried that I would break ?' 'Yes dear what about it ?' 'Well your worries are over.'"

"What does Ronda Rousey's opponents and myself have in common? We both barely last 14 seconds and leave our partners underwhelmed."

"My liver works harder for two days than I do all week..."