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Joke of the Day

"Wrong hole. No. Still the wrong hole. Only ONE in each hole! Ugh. Here! I'll show you. -Helping my kid put on a swimsuit."

"I was walking down the road and some guy tipped a whole carton of milk on me... How dairy"

"What do you call a witch that stays out all night? A fresh air freak."

"If you could go back in time, would you kill Hitler or just watch movies that aren't about superheroes?"

"How do you stop a fish from smelling? Cut its nose off."

"I'm thinking 'FUCK YOU' real loud at the people around me right now & they don't have a clue. I'm owning them so hard & they have no idea."

"It's sad going to McDonald's and finding out that a meal is happier than you."

"What did the coma patient win? A-trophy."

"A German tourist in France. A German tourist arrives at a French airport. Immigration officer asks him: ""Occupation?"" The German replies: ""No, no, just visiting."""

"What do you call a fish without eyes? A FSSSSSHHHH"