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Joke of the Day
"Watching cooking shows makes you realize how much forehead sweat is possibly in your food"
Next Joke
"What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeno business"
"Mother-in-laws Two men are sitting in a pub when one turns to the other and says ""My mother-in-law is a saint,"" To which the other man replies ""You're so fucking lucky! Mine's still alive,"""
"The people who designed the English language had an interesting sense of humor... I would love to meet the guy who made up the spelling for lisp."
"Two blondes came across some tracks in the woods - and they argued with each other about whether or not it was bear or deer tracks... Until they both got hit by a train."
"I've cut this piece of wood 3 times ... ... and it's still too short. -Bob Edmiston"
"What's the best rape prevention tool? A de-boning knife."
"My phone just autocorrected ""doofus"" to ""doodie""...and I thought *I* was immature."
"I've had Thanksgiving dinner four times and I'm kind of getting addicted. I'm quitting this cold turkey."
"When I was in college, I used to have sex almost EVERY DAY... ...almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday..."