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Joke of the Day

"HOW TO JOG: 1. Put on jogging outfit. 2. Go outside. 3. Imagine a cow galloping down the street. 4. Try to milk that cow."

"You can lose weight if you don't eat foods that start with capital letters. Even faster if you live in Germany!"

"I bought some new ""London Bridge Jeans"" They keep falling down."

"Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle they put it around her neck"

"When someone yawns, I like to yell ""Surprise Dentist!"" and stick my hand in their mouth, which is fun because I'm not really a dentist."

"Why can't you checkmate a christian? Because they're all pawns and their king doesn't exist."

"What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe? An e-mergency."

"Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef, but you cant pea soup!"

"I wanna see some BUTTS on da dance floor! ONLY butts. Detached from their owners, just kinda in a pile. In the middle. Nice. Good butt pile."

"Politician (noun): Someone who will lay down your life for his country."