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Joke of the Day

"There's a spider in my bathroom. I neither can kill it or capture it, so now it has its very own room in my house to raise its spider family"

"What does a pediatrist do when you ask them which body part they find most interesting? They admit de feet."

"Why a centipede cannot fly coach? Not enough leg room!"

"Scientists have discovered a Gene that makes women more receptive to threesomes It's a recessive gene though, so both parents have to not love her for the trait to manifest."

"what's the square root of 69? ate something."

"What do racists say during sex? ""Hard R! HARD R!"""

"What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore? Row v. Wade"

"On a scale of 1 to 10 on the hungover scale I'm at ""can't handle this conversation with my mom about a hickey."""

"Because you can't hang up in person. Duct tape,"

"*walks into starbucks* Me: HEY ANY ASPIRING AUTHORS HERE?? SOMEONE FROM PENGUIN PUBLISHING OUTSIDE!!! *has choice of any table*"