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Joke of the Day

"What do you call... two black guys who are fighting over a watermel.... Goddamit billy go fuck your sister in another room, pa is trying to tell a joke."

"An abacus isn't exciting, but it's reliable. You can always count on one."

"I used to have a friend who wanted to be run over by a steam train... When he finally was, he was chuffed to bits."

"The opposite of Thanksgiving leftovers is Thanksgiving rightunders. I'm so sorry"

"Today I saw a Japanese man rushing to the elevator The door was closing, so I held it open for him. He replied with, ""Sank you"". Why did he have to mention Pearl Harbor like that?"

"Of all the things ""Inside Amy Schumer""... ..why can't any of them be funny?"

"How to measure the perfect amount of pasta Step 1: Measure out the perfect amount of pasta. Step 2: Wrong."

"Schrodinger's Letter If you put the letter "" Y "" in a box with a few other letters to form a word, and close that box, can you tell me, without opening the box......... Is "" Y "" a vowel?"

"I tripped over some shrooms the other day...Because I didn't see them. It was dark and I was high."

"Whats's Glenn's favourite restaurant? Popeyes"