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Joke of the Day

"If Thor is a woman, what's next? Woman doctors? Woman lawyers? Woman mothers? When will it end?"

"My ex and I broke up because she said she couldn't be with someone who wanted her to change. I just wanted her to stop sleeping with my friends."

"I like long walks on the beach and lying about being married."

"How can you tell ignorance from indifference? I don't know and I don't care."

"For every 1 hour I spend with friends, I need 30 days to recover by myself."

"If I was a roofer I'd go around saying I'm single and ready to shingle."

"What makes for a great relationship but a shit gaming partner? Someone who goes down a lot."

"horsing around I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go into the bedroom and horse around, she said nay. I guess she just wasn't in the mood."

"What exactly is dissassociative identity disorder? I've heard of it but don't know what it means?"

"I accidentally locked my keys in the car across the street from an abortion clinic... .... I yelled, ""Hey! Anybody got a hanger?"" The protesters chased me for three blocks."