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Joke of the Day

"""First time caller, long time listener""Alexander Graham Bell"

"A soldier gets his entire left half of him blown off by a landmine He's alright now though."

"I made a dead body wearing a brassiere disapear. A-bra-cadaver!"

"My toddler is legit angry at me because I wouldn't let her jump out a second story window today. This is why you need birth control ladies."

"How do you get elected president of my pants? By the vote of the Erectional College..."

"Wife: every time we argue, you think you're right. Me: yes, because if I thought you were right, I wouldn't be arguing..."

"What do you see when the pillsbury doughboy bends over? Doughnuts"

"An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anything for a while the Priest knocked on the wall. The drunk said forget it buddy there's no paper in here either."

"Put a load in the dishwasher last night She was mad I didn't pull out."

"If 666 is the evil number Then 25.806975... is the root of all evil."