154843

Joke of the Day

"I wanted to change my Reddit password from Warriors into Cavs. But Reddit said Too weak"

"[Donald Trump's election speech] ""America, I have only 1 thing to say"" *pulls off wig & mask revealing Ashton Kutcher* ""YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D"""

"I finally came out of the closet today... My mom then walks up to me, and says something to me. ""Holy fuck, How messy is your closet Joe? You have been in your closet for an entire month cleaning it!"""

"The gun range is great practice for being attacked by a paper target."

"When does a tree want less? When it's sycamore."

"""Let there be me."" God, just before he created himself out of nothing."

"Schrodinger's Hater gonna both hate and not hate."

"MySpace got old. Facebook got old. Now Twitter is getting old. What next? Damn. I guess we'll have talk to people in real life."

"I told my girlfriend that she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised."

"the past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense..."