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Joke of the Day

"You never know how many people are out jogging early in the morning till you back out of your driveway with frost covered windows."

"Sometimes I hide my wife's inhaler.... The neighbours think I am a stud when they hear her panting heavily ""give it to me!"""

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face..."

"I used to work in children's wear, but I grew out of it."

"What was Hitler's favorite Yugioh card? Blue Eyes White Person"

"Just as my teachers said, math has proven useful in my everyday life. For example, yesterday I dropped my keys into a toilet and made an integral out of wire."

"My uncle found the g-spot once... ...he tells people he lost those two fingers in the war."

"""I gave him the what for!"" ""What for?"" ""Because he deserved it, that's what for!"""

"Life is like a box of chocolates... and I am a lactose-intolerant diabetic."

"Who did the dyslexic man sell his soul to? Santa. /cringe"