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Joke of the Day

"""The bond's Name. James Name"" Pleased to... what? ""Bond Name's the james"" Are you alright? ""Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance"""

"How much for the best friend? Manager : Sir, we've been through this, our cashiers aren't for sale."

"Kids eat free today? Nice... In that case, I'll have a water and my son will have the steak and shrimp combo with a kids bud light."

"what did the leper say to the hooker Keep the tip."

"What happened to the guy that was trimming some bushes and accidentally sliced off his left arm?? Well they say he's ""allRIGHT"" xD"

"How do you know a Muslim is lying? their lips are moving"

"Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot."

"Hitler pun ""Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals."" Hitler: ""So mine less."" Grammar Nazi busts in. ""MINE FEWER."" (Hitler looks up) ""Yes?"""

"Woke up late, so I put Red Bull in the coffee machine instead of water. Got halfway to work before I realized I forgot my fucking car!"

"Never feel like you're too small to make a difference. After all, a tiny raisin has the ability to RUIN EVERYTHING ITS BAKED IN."