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Joke of the Day

"""The bond's Name. James Name"" Pleased to... what? ""Bond Name's the james"" Are you alright? ""Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance"""

"I have a solution to procrastination I will tell you tomorrow"

"Q: What did the snail say when he jumped on the turtle's back? A: Wheeeeee!"

"If I were a waitress, I'd be planting fake engagement rings in every girl's food, just to see their boyfriends panic."

"It's a real shame Friday doesn't come as quick as I do"

"First rule of being Italian is to tell everyone you're Italian. (I can say this cause I'm Italian.)"

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs inside a volcano? Anakin Skywalker. (Happy Geek Pride Day!)"

"Am I financially wealthy? No. But am I rich when it comes to relationships, happiness, and experiences? Still no."

"My brother is so poor... ...He had to jerk off the dog to feed the cat."

"Which country will be the first to change to all electric vehicles? Madagascar"