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Joke of the Day

"If you've ever wondered why an animal is stupid enough to run into oncoming traffic on the highway, then you've obviously never been married."

"Two condoms drive by a gay bar... One turns to the other and says ""let's get shit-faced!"""

"Dog and a Candy Bar How is a dog before he goes into the vet like a Snickers, and after he comes out of the vet like a Milky Way? They are both the same, just without the nuts."

"Cool prank: Gradually remove a little bit of your mom's arm bones each night in her sleep until her arms are just totally floppy"

"You can tune a piano But you can't tuna fish!"

"A man trying to scam people into buying land in space was baffled when it didnt work. . . His sign read: 'SPACE AVAILABLE'"

"Old friend: I barely recognize you. ""That's the look I was going for. """

"If you ever see on a road where a section of the dotted line is missing - There is no law there."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Ground Up and in the Freezer."

"Did you hear about the guy that used ivory butt plugs? He suffered from elephant-tight-ass."