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Joke of the Day

"I sent an angel to watch over you last night but he came back saying he can't watch porn..."

"What happens to gay horses when they die? They become ""super"" glue!"

"A lady got off the train so I finished her crossword. Turns out she'd just gone to the toilet and now she's back and she hates me."

"Why is the space between a woman's chest and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there."

"I once ate a watch. It was time consuming, I didn't go back for seconds."

"Missus and I splitting. I blame her new job. Ever since she started at EA, our definitions of ""exclusive"" have really diverged."

"Say what you want about Lance Armstrong, but I think being the first man to walk on the Moon is an amazing achievement. They can never take that away from him..."

"For years I thought that my wife was repulsed by me but as it turns out she just doesn't put out on the first marriage."

"What's a feminists favorite music festival? Burning Man."

"A man has an accident at the factory where he works... He calls his wife and says ""Meet me at the hospital! I just cut off my finger!"" Wife says ""The whole finger?!?"" He says ""No, the one next to it"""