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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why women aren't allowed in space? * To avoid scenarios like: ""Houston, we have a problem!"" * ""What is the problem?"" * ""Yeah, great, pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about!"""

"Turkey bacon is a lot like normal bacon except that IT'S NOT AND IT NEEDS TO GO BACK TO HELL, WHERE IT CAME FROM."

"I bought one of Donald Trump's books on how to run a business ...but for some reason, it just ends at Chapter 11."

"Why couldn't the Italian chef get into his restaurant? Gnocchi."

"What do a bunch of wankers do in a group? Mass debating."

"Why do girls always walk in odd packs? Because they literally can't even."

"Haven't seen any UFOs lately. Wondering if the galaxy is downsizing their space programs too."

"People tend to overreact when they look in their rear view mirror & see you sitting in their backseat dressed like a clown."

"I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password ""Have some respect for the dead!"" he said I replied ""Is that all lower case?"""

"You know, I never understood why calling someone a pussy was an insult. I mean, you are what you eat."