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Joke of the Day

"Why do girls always walk in odd packs? Because they literally can't even."

"Police were called to a day care Toddler was resisting a rest."

"Hey girl, are you the final scene in the Sopranos? Because"

"What's the best part about dating a homeless chick? You can drop her off wherever."

"I like my women the way I like my software Without any viruses and I don't have to pay"

"Wife and I made a deal. She gets to keep hair on her legs, and I get to keep my opinions to myself. Baby steps."

"Why does George Zimmerman keep popping up every 6 months or so? Is he the McRib?"

"I saw a man with a board saying 'Repent for you're sin's, the end of the world is nigh'. I thought 'That's a bad sign'."

"How do you make both God and Satan angry at you? You rape Satan's wife."

"A cashier rings up a box of trash bags for a customer... Customer: ""I don't know why I keep buying these things, I just end up throwing them out anyways."""