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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather once told me 'When i was your age, I thought I was going to be 10 all my life too. So I said 'And when I was your age, I didn't believe in reincarnation either'."

"How does an ethiopian open a beer? With his ribs"

"Why did the two tampons not talk to each other? because they're both stuck up cunts"

"What's a Republican Congressman's favorite movie? Kill Bill"

"what do you call chess players bragging in a hotel lobby? chess nuts boasting in an open foyer"

"bucket: a dirty limerick A horny young Scout, with a bucket, Caught a goose and proceeded to fuck it Far too roughly (it died), Took it home, had it fried, Cause he thought it'd wasteful to chuck it."

"why should you never sleep with a female beekeper? she might give you herbees"

"""Alex is visiting later tonight."" Alex from work or Alex the astronaut with amazing hearing? [From the moon] It's not me, Thelma. Hi Bob."

"If this tweet gets 5 retweets, I will threaten a public official on Facebook."

"I admire male porn stars... They're always hard working"