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Joke of the Day

"no matter what the government says no one can stop you from eating the bugs you find in your garden"

"Knock knock Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave breaking down into an emotional wreck and mess of tears at the realisation that the Alzheimer's has finally taken hold."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? Aye yee think it be arrrrr, but it be the seaa"

"Do you know why I hate drinking with blind people? They can't handle their liquor--They always black out"

"I got asked how I view lesbian relationships.. Apparently HD wasn't the correct answer."

"If it's true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?"

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass."

"My local post office uses four checkouts unless it's really busy; then they use one."

"What does a Buddhist order from a hotdogs vendor? One with everything"

"I'm going to protect my tweets on Christmas this year so Santa can't ""know when I'm not sleeping or know when I'm awake."" Take that!"